I'll Never Tell! - Chapter 44

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Sept 2, 2010, 9:15pm

I'll Never Tell! :: Lunar Findings :: Reviewers Review! :: Chapter 44

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Topic: Chapter 44 (Read 36 times)

SherahSharada
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Chapter 44
« Thread Started on Nov 18, 2007, 4:58pm »

Chapter 44

If there were any doubts that Eclipse is an evil bastard....

ECLIPSE IS AN EVIL BASTARD!

Once again, Drake manages to cheat death caused by doing something very suicidal.

Chapter 45

« Last Edit: Dec 30, 2008, 2:44pm by SherahSharada »

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das my shadow! XD Robin added text and the eyes!

trikari
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Re: Chapter 44
« Reply #1 on Jan 5, 2009, 8:37pm »

Eclipse isn't very prone to swearing is he? Cool banner.

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SherahSharada
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Re: Chapter 44
« Reply #2 on Jan 6, 2009, 12:45am »

Eclipse doesn't feel the need to swear... Drake does!

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das my shadow! XD Robin added text and the eyes!

trikari
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Re: Chapter 44
« Reply #3 on Jan 6, 2009, 6:18pm »

Then where did he learn sarcasm from?

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trikari
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Re: Chapter 44
« Reply #4 on Jan 2, 2010, 2:40pm »

1) he’d never stood a chance in a battle with Eclipse when the man was in that form, though
do you need a comma there?

2) riding the arrow as if they, too, knew how foolish their firing had been. (and) It would spread, too, (and) sounds could have been spells, too, but he just couldn't see
i'm not sure if the commas are needed....

3) feeling glad only for two facts that he wasn’t very proud of; Eclipse could not kill him…
the semicolon should just be a colon because you are listing the two facts off right?

4) The grass beneath Drake and Eclipse's feet
The grass beneath Drake('s) and Eclipse's feet

5) The wings on Eclipse' back
The wings on Eclipse'(s) back

6) keep Drake insight
keep Drake in( )sight
there should be nothing because in and sight should be separated in the context your using

7) the prince's body (and) the prince
you capitalized pricne later on, so should this be capitalized too?

8) enough that he gave up with fighting back
enough that he gave up with fighting back(.)

9) vines from hell
didn't you mention earlier, or implied earlier, that Gaia had Hel and Hades. you never wrote hell before in TRLF

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